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Huszadikára (ült be a Feri a Tibi helyett)

Láda sör. Napközben elszürcsölöm, aztán este elkezdünk inni. Azt ne mondd, hogy te nem iszol meg egy láda sört, mert huszadikán mindenki megiszik egy ládával! Talán csak a gyerekek nem, ha nagyon kicsik.

Én a strandra is úgy megyek, hogy jobb kezemben egy tálca Borsodi, balban meg a hűtőtáska a fasírozottas szendvicsekkel. Hát azért csak inkább azt írják meg az újságok, hogy részegen fejest ugrott a húsz centis vízbe és kitörte a nyakát, minthogy éhen halt a törölközőn, mert nem evett meg negyven darab fasírozottas szendvicset!

Úgyhogy a faszom mellől a gyűrött tízest a jegyszedő néninek kellett kivenni, mert a Marika keze is tele volt hűtőtáskákkal, a gyerekek meg hozták a gumimatracokat, a vödröket, a pumpát meg a zöldségeket.

Nincs is jobb ennél, strandon leülni egy törölközőre, eszegetni a fasírozottas zsemlét, sörözgetni, azt nézni a nőket, kislányokat! Némelyiknek olyan szép homlokos pinája van, hogy az ember esze megáll! Néha meg bemegy az ember a vízbe, ha szarnia, vagy pisálnia kell. Úgy elmegy vele tizenkét óra, hogy észre se veszed! Csak, hogy elfogyott a sör.

Idén mi is Szabadisóstónál voltunk, Siófoknál. Múltkor olvastam, hogy emberek kislányokat ujjaznak meg Siófokon a pulton, na, mondtam is a lányomnak, hogy látod hova hozott apád! Egyébként már 2017-ben lefoglaltam a szállást, de így is egy szobában kellett lennünk egy felsőzsolcai családdal. Fürödni is együtt mentünk, én az apukával, Marika a csávó nejével, gyerekek meg egy kupacban. Ember elején ráadásul zuhanyzás közben az én papucsomon állt, merthogy nem hozott. Mondom, bazmeg, de hülye egy fasz vagy, hát nyaralni csak gumipapucsban lehet!  De megfogadta a tanácsom, másnapra lopott magának egyet.

Kempingágyat is mi adtunk nekik kölcsön, merthogy vonattal jöttek a nyomorultak! Hát mi nem! A4, alig van benne másfélmillió kilométer, de eddig csak a Wunderbaumot kellett cserélni benne, hálistennek. Mondjuk a fék már nem igazi, Érdnél tövig benyomnám, Lepsénynél állnánk meg. De hát minek állnánk meg Lepsénynél, ha Sóstóra megyünk! Úgyhogy nem nyomogatom a féket, szépen, kényelmesen haladunk, azt ha jön egy kamion, kikerülöm. Múltkor a belsőben jött mögöttem egy Gripen, kimentem az elé is! Szopjon ki a Gripen! Mondjuk Fehérvártól a többiek vezettek, mert addigra már megittam négy sört. Hadd vezessen mindenki, egyszer nyaralunk!

Visszafelé főleg jó, kényelmesen a középső sávban, néha a belsőben. Közben még a Sportot is kiolvasom, de van, hogy belefér egy Skandináv is! Olvastam múltkor az egyik táblán, hogy jobbra tarts! Na gondoltam, ezt jónak írjátok, nekem, aki 2018-ban is a MIÉP-re szavazott!

Visszatérve a nyaralásra, este bementünk a belvárosba körbenézni, meg ettünk egy gyroszt. Ilyen jó gyroszt, mint a Mustafában, én még nem ettem! Bőven hazaértünk, mire összefostam magam. Besétáltunk abba az Azúr Hotelbe is kíváncsiságból, mondtam is a Marikának, hogy örüljél, hogy nem vagyok gazdag, még nagyobb paraszt lennék! Azt én is kiabálnék a pincérnek húsz méterről, hogy hol a faszomba vagy már, hatszázat költöttem csak szobára, te faszkalap! Persze számlázok én is, de én csak stróman vagyok a cégben, havi százhúszból meg nem tudok ilyeneket kiabálni sajnos. Mondjuk ha nem csak stróman volnék, akkor én már inkább a Malában szállnék meg, mint a Tatár Petiék! Tatár Peti Bükkszentkereszten a legnagyobb ember, ha nem tudnád, zöld Lamborghinivel jár, meg egy citromsárga G Mercivel! Mikor, hogy!

De nem baj, jó nekem a kettő között is, a sétányon. Sétálgatás közben rákívántam egy lekváros palacsintára, gondoltam veszek egyet a Marikának is, de aztán ránéztem, és inkább vettem neki egy Unicumot, hátha attól legalább megdöglik. Mondjuk az biztos, hogy hamvasztatom, mert ekkora koporsót vegyen neki a Lőrinc! Hozzátenném, mikor mondtam a gyereknek, hogy lesz tizenkét lekváros palacsinta meg egy Unicum, akkor a pubi csóválta a fejét, hogy külön rendeljem ezeket, mert ennyi mindent nem tud megjegyezni.

Egyébként persze azért szeretem a Marikát, emlékszem mikor először találkoztunk Siófokon, úgy megbasztam a Flört parkolójában, hogy megtapsolták az emberek! Lehet, akkor is huszadika volt, de ki a faszom emlékszik arra már!

Emlékezzünk inkább arra, hogy a jó öreg Szent István megalapította nekünk magyaroknak ezt a remek országot!

Gyere inkább te is Peti haza Siófokra, meghívlak téged is egy Unicumra!

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