Népművelés. Sok köcsöggel.

Karolina kávéház (ba ült be a Tibi)

Laci, még nem mentetek ki? Kérdi egy férfi hosszúujjú vitorlás pólóban, vitorlás kabátban, vitorlás cipőben, vitorlás sapkában ülve a tűző napon, a tőle húsz méterre üldögélő másik férfitől, akiről, ha nem tudnám, hogy Helly Hansen egy norvég hajóskapitány volt, azt hinném ő az, annyi helyen van rajta a neve.

A közöttük az ötven négyzetméteres teraszon összepréselődött százötven vendég erre mind odanéznek, hogy ott van-e még a Laci, vagy már kiment a vízre.

Még nem, majd délután! Mondja, és tényleg ott van, ott ül a szárazföldön egy székben. Ti?

Még mi sem! Kiabál vissza a másik. Mi is délután! A Lisztayék is akkor mennek!

Innen aztán már sejthetik a vendégek, hogy e két embernek van vitorlása, meg azt is, hogy ha még ha nem is tudják, kik a Lisztayék, de ha ők akkor mennek ki, akkor azért akkor is kell. Úgyhogy nem áll fel senki sietve kimenni a vízre, még ha csak egy fél óra alatt fölfújt, gány geci matracon is.

Lehet enni tovább a süteményt.

Az enyémet közelről figyeli egy kétszáz kilós nő, rövid miniruhában. Úgyhogy alulról lehet látni, ahogy beteszi a szájába a tortáját, mert az van neki is. Sőt, van előtte még egy, ha elfogyna a másik, és véletlenül éhes maradna, vagy ha felkapná a másikat egy sirály. De mondom, az enyém jobb lehet, mert úgy stíröli, hogy komolyan elszégyellem magam, hogy eleszem előle. Úgyhogy ott is hagyom a felét, úgyis közel ülünk itt mind egymáshoz, ha akarja, könnyen eléri a villájával.

A süteményt egy jó aperollal kíséri, azt meg vodkanaranccsal.

Az igen! Biccentek át elismerően. Csak a szemeit gúvasztja meg kicsit, a szájával eszik tovább.

Hagyd azt a dagadt picsát, Tibi! Odanézzél inkább, ott mi ül! Mutat Tóni a sarokba, ahol egy pumpaszájú, nagycsöcsű csaj múlatja az időt egy nála kicsit leharcoltabb barátnőjével, meg egy kékre festett kiskutyával. De nézzed már meg rendesen, hogy áll a mellbimbója, Tibi bazmeg, már! Kiabálja idegesen. Kérnek még valamit? Lép erre oda gyorsan hozzánk készséges pincérünk egy óra húsz perc után. Egy huszonnégyszeletes banántortát itt a mellettünk ülő hölgynek, meg egy üveg prossecót a hölgyeknek ott! Meg egy számlát! Mi is kiraktuk a képeket már az instánkra, úgyhogy mehetünk végre!

Gyere, Tibi, sétáljunk kicsit a Tagórén, aztán nyaljunk egy fagyit! Javasolja fizetés után Tóni. De szépen,megcsinálták, nem? Néz körbe elismerően. Bezzeg szemben, Siófokon jó nagy szétszart, baszatás van, nem? Én múltkor mondjuk voltam Siófokon, de ezt csak neked mondom, mert mikor mások kérdezték hol voltam, akkor inkább azt hazudtam, hogy otthon maradtam Pesten, azt éjjel kiugrottam a Farkasréti temetőbe, kiástam egy hullát, és megbasztam, és nem azt, hogy a Petőfi sétányon a Renegadeben egy asztalon táncoló, meződombori, enyhén bajszos kislányt ujjaztam, miközben a másik kezemmel tartottam a Csicsákot a nyakánál, aki lehányta a pultosokat.   

Mondjuk azért itt is vannak formák! Látszik, hogy ki az, aki Bélapátfalváról jött családostul, meg ki a Rózsadombról! Az előbbin piros Replay atléta van, a vádliján egy pitbull tetkó, a csuklóján egy 1982 óta nem gyártott, hamis, Jesolo mellett a piacon kialkudott Rolex, mellette meg egy lilára melírozott kreol, feketehajú nő, aranyozott papucsban, és két vödörfejű kisgyerek műszálas focimezben. Na az utóbbin meg feltűrt V nyakú Gant póló van, a Rolexét múlt héten még nem gyártották, neki a vállán van a pitbull tetkó, úgyhogy ezért csak a kutya fülét látni a pólója alól, mellette a nője meg hidrogénszőkére van festve, de kreol az is, a két gyerekükön meg minden Guess.

Úgyhogy az a jó, Tibikém, hogy jöhetsz te bárhonnan, ugyanakkora paraszt vagy!

De gyere, mielőtt meghívlak a fagyira, menjünk ki a partra, azt nézzük meg, ott van-e még a Tihany, vagy felszívták a hétvégén azt is a Ciliék.

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